Sorry guys, have not been active in blog, too many things to juggle around. But I'm still active in FB, you can actually get my life status update at FB. I'm already getting busy with my FYP aka the assignmentssss. I'm also organizing an ACG event, year 2 so it's super busy. Added in between are my TKD n Karate classes, Toastmasters, badminton, my anime club n random violin playing.
Here's the link to my event: http://forums.comicfiesta.org/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=5112&p=260570#p260570
Updating blog cause really is not in a good mood, slacking away from assignment research, typing this out. XD
As my FB latest status: "Due to several reasons, it started raining by the windows. The soul is again reset back to its initial stage. What stands before me, I still dont know how to judge it. In the worst case, I'll have to let it go. Regrets? It's just part of my useless life."
Today my friend told me that I should just stop doing my martial arts n sports, should just switch to music instead. My friend said dont have the proper health or body or structure to do those sports. It's because I got so many injuries n bruises everywhere. This week alone I got bruises from 2 badminton games. 1 I hit on my left hand(Monday), the other I hit on my leg(thursday). Then on Tuesday when I'm learning to play with a long stick, my low knowledge on it makes a bruise on my hand for continuously hitting the same spot. Oh well its just to get my posture right! Then Thurs morning I having an event promotion at Uni compound where I play my Hope's boomerang n I hit it on my right hand. Both injuries on my hands hit the bone so its wound is quite bad.
Oh well, how much did he knows me? If my friend ever heard how I play my music, I bet he did tell me to just stop doing all this unnecessary stuff n just live a normal life. You know how I play my music? I dont even know how to do pauses properly, i donno how to count the beats n I play songs the way I want it to be. SO WHAT? I cant do that?
Nevermind, forgive them. Its not like its the first time it happens to me. In fact for my past 20 yrs, nobody ever support or acknowledge whatever I'm doing. N unlikely its going to be the last one anyway. I just move on my life and continue them. It's MY LIFE afterall. You know my family always look down on me, thinking whatever i'm doing has been useless and that i just cant do things right. When I manage to pass my martial art exam, I happily bring back the good news n what they said is: "oh well, its been 'changed', of course you can get it pass.", then the 2nd time I pass a much higher grade, again they said: "ah, the exam is so easy, its just like cheating up anyway". I join badminton competition:"for what you join? confirmed lose one!" I bought a violin:"10 yrs ago you stopped your piano half way n now you want to learn another thing? I assure you sure leave it there after 3 times playing it"
See how they react to me? I know I'm not special, I aint genius, I dont have a healty body, good structure to do all these sports or do it well. I'm not a perfect person or good enough to be the best among others. I'm just so ordinary that I'm only able to do the best I could. With no support and acknowledgement on my doings, I still in persue with what I like the most. Cause I know if I try my very best, I'll be able to be at least better than others, even I'm not the best, even I'm not going to be outstanding at all.
If I were to give up if somebody told me off, look me down, I'll never able to achieve anything. N I'm confirmed to be forever being looked down. I dint give up learning violin, despite the horrible way of me playing them. Hey at least now when I'm moving my fingers around, SONGS came out! Not those typical horrific ear-soaring tunes came out.
I dont mind ppl call me useless, no capability on doing things... I have a life and I can live on with it, be it with a partner or not.
Time to do research already, till next time!
